A Conversation Between Jesus Christ And A Group Of Famous Conservative Figures
Donald Trump: Huh? Who the Hell is this guy? SECURITY!
Paul Ryan: Oh my! It’s the King of Kings! The Lamb of God! The Son Of David! It’s…
Trump: Oh. Cool, I guess.
Ryan: Cool? Donald, we’re meeting Jesus Christ! He has returned!
Conservatives In Chorus: YES!
Cruz: You sound like a socialist.
Pence: Yeah… definitely a socialist.
Trump: I was thinking the same thing.
Jesus: I’m not a socialist, guys.
Jesus: Yes! Exactly!
Conservatives in Unison: COMMUNIST!
Cruz: Take your hippy left-wing bullshit over to Bernie Sanders!
Ryan: Jesus would never say such a thing!
(Jesus disappears the same way he appeared, his scowl fading away as he vanishes)
Trump: Man, what a jerk!
Ryan: Seriously. Loving the poor? Caring for the sick? Peace on Earth? What kind of nonsense is that?
Cruz: Well, I’m definitely in the market for a new religion after that.
Trump: Shut up, Ted.